My NBA All-Star Game Acceptance Speech

The other day, a gentleman by the name of Zach Harper awarded me with a prestigious accolade that has broken a glass ceiling and paves the way for people like me in years to come.

Mr. Harper named me the All-Star of the Charlotte Bobcats.

I hardly have words to say how proud I am of such an honor, not to mention how shellshocked I was at hearing the surprising information. I mean, I work hard and as they saying goes, ‘No pain, no gain’ — and I certainly endured a lot of pain.

There was the infamous airballed free throw from DeSagana Diop. The hours upon hours of watching Cory Higgins play meaningful minutes. Boris Diaw shed his early strong performance, but not his lovehandles. I didn’t watch all of it — I do have a job —  but I watched most of it, sometimes peeking through the space between my fingers during particularly horrific moments. Byron Mullens hedging on the wrong side of pick and roll. I can go on and on.

It’s definitely not easy. So many times I wanted to give up, but refused to let myself do that. My stomach did cartwheels as I forced my eyes open while the Trail Blazers obliterated the Bobcats. And all of it whilst sober. That’s right, not a drop of alcohol to ease the pain.

But it all has come to fruition with this decoration.

First off, I must thank Mr. Harper and the rest of the blogosphere/twittersphere. They have given me so much support, it nearly brings me to tears. From the bottom of my heart, I love you all. Secondly, I must thank my parents. Mom, you taught me to work hard at everything I do and never give up. And Dad, you taught me to yell and wildly emote at the people on the TV screen. Together, you made me into this award-winner you see here today.

And lastly, I give so much thanks my fellow Bobcats fans who have hung in there with me, they who may be much more controlled with their voices. Together, we will survive. I do it all for you guys.

I have written a poem to commemorate this wonderful occasion.

Me Real Cool


Me real cool. Me
watch Hendo. Me

watch Augustin. Me
watch  Kemba. Me

watch Diaw. Me
watch Higgins. Me

Watch Diop. Me
Die soon.


Again, thank you all. Hopefully better times await us ahead.


One response to “My NBA All-Star Game Acceptance Speech

  1. poetrarily speaking, that was amazing. way to go on all-star 2012

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